Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non -living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

6 comments:

Kristi Amasio said...

Hysterical. My favorite one is the remote control by far. I'll have to show this to Lloyd. Your posts are always so funny!!

brittani c. said...

So, Randy...the real question is which inanimate object are you like? Maybe the train? Or maybe a freezer bag?

Jennybug said...

And males can't keep their hands off the remote control. Thanks for the laugh Randy!

grammy vicki said...

Where do you come up with these things? So good to have comic relief during these long blog-hops. Love that sense of humor!!

The Donald said...

Those are good. Hey can you believe that I am Smitty's counselor in elders quorom now? We are going to rock the Edison ward like it hasn't been rocked in...uh...how long have you been gone for now?

Kris and Kelli said...

You're slacking on the blog you traitor! Don't give in to the dark side with Facebook.t